Rinse, de-seed, and mince jalapeño. Drain chickpeas and hearts of palm. Add chickpeas, hearts of palm, and jalapeño to food processor. Pulse to combine, but don’t over process. Add the chickpea mixture to a large bowl with 1 tsp rice wine vinegar, 1 tsp Old Bay seasoning, 1 packet mustard, and 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs (reserve the other half). Season with salt and pepper. Mix well.
Form the chickpea mixture into 6 cakes, making sure to pack the mixture tightly. Place the fabcakes in the refrigerator to firm up while you make the slaw. In a small bowl, combine ¼ cup Fabanaise, the remaining 2 tbsp rice wine vinegar, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Mix well and set aside.
Rinse the collards and remove leaves from stem. Discard stems. Dry and stack the leaves, roll up into a loose cigar-shape, and slice thinly. Place in a bowl, sprinkle with a pinch of salt, and “massage” leaves to soften them. Wash and peel the parsnip and carrot. Shred both on the large side of the box grater. Add to the collards along with the Fabanaise dressing. Toss everything to combine.
Remove the fabcakes from the fridge. Place the remaining panko breadcrumbs on a plate and coat the cakes on all sides. Place a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat and add 2 tbsp vegetable oil. Once the oil is hot add the fabcakes and fry until golden brown, flipping once, about 3 minutes per side. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate and sprinkle with salt.
To make the aioli, combine the remaining ¼ cup Fabanaise, remaining ½ tsp Old Bay seasoning, and a pinch of salt in a bowl. Measure out ¼ tsp mustard from the remaining packet, add to the bowl, and mix well.
Divide the fabcakes between your plates. Serve with the collard, carrot, and parsnip slaw on the side, and with the Old Bay aioli for dipping. Bon appetit!